Have you ever wanted something so badly that it consumed your thoughts and you couldn’t stop thinking about it? Whether it was some technology you felt you had to have, a relationship, or maybe a position at work—something you wanted intensely. Desire is universal, isn’t it? We all want something in life. But what happens when your desires go unchecked? When you want something so badly that those desires begin to take control of your heart? We can be really obsessive sometimes, can’t we? The way we want things and desire things—it’s something we all wrestle with. God knew the danger of unchecked desires in our hearts, which is why He gave us the 10th commandment. If you have your Bible, we’re looking at the last of the Ten Commandments today, Exodus 20:17:
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
Let’s pray. Heavenly Father, as we come to this command, we are left without excuse for whatever loopholes we might have found in the other nine. Your commands go straight to our hearts. We confess that we have often longed for things in ways that led us into the sin of coveting. We’ve obsessed over the good things You’ve given us, but often desired them in the wrong way. We ask for Your help today. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
The 10th commandment. There are ten, right? Israel was in the wilderness, God had made Himself known to them, and He gave them a code: Ten Commandments that have profoundly shaped Western civilization. It’s hard to think of any system of law that has had a greater impact than the Ten Commandments. We’ve looked at nine of them so far, and the Tenth Commandment is especially interesting because it sweeps away all of our excuses. It demands not just outward obedience but an inward transformation of our desires. It goes straight to the heart.
In our study of these commandments, I’ve tried to phrase them in the positive, even though they’re often written in the negative: “You shall not.” God isn’t being arbitrary or just making rules; He gives these commandments for our blessing. We are called to honor Him by obeying them. Today, as we look at this final commandment that deals with the heart, I’ve titled the message: Honoring God by Being Content. Contentment. It’s one of the hardest things for us, isn’t it? As we look at this commandment, my first point is this:
Coveting distorts good desires into misplaced longings.
I want us to look at what Exodus 20:17 teaches about coveting. It reveals that we desire good things, but those good things can begin to own us. They start to possess us. The Hebrew word here, chamad, conveys an inward craving, a desire that moves beyond admiration to an intense longing—“I’ve got to have that.”
This desire, referred to as coveting in this verse, isn’t necessarily bad. The word chamad is used throughout the Hebrew Bible and can be morally neutral. It’s not wrong to desire; it can even be good. But it becomes negative when it is associated with inappropriate longing. For example, it’s not wrong to want a house to live in and call your own, but it is wrong to want to take your neighbor’s house.
In the Hebrew Bible, the word chamad isn’t always negative—it can be positive. Psalm 19:10 even says, “The judgments of the Lord are more desirable than gold.” God’s law is something we should covet. However, the 10th commandment encompasses a broad range of desires. Look at verse 17: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
The desire for a house, for instance, is a good thing. It reflects God’s provision of material resources to support life and community. We need shelter, don’t we? It’s not wrong to desire a house, or even to own multiple houses. That’s not inherently wrong. Our desires for shelter and material provision mirror the way God has provided for His creation. We are made in His image, and so the desire for a house mirrors God’s desire to provide and care for creation.
The desire for a spouse is another example. It reflects God’s design for relational intimacy, companionship, and human flourishing. Marriage is how the world is populated and how humanity flourishes. Our longing for intimacy reflects God’s relational nature and His love for us.
How about the servants, oxen, or donkeys mentioned in the passage? Most of us probably haven’t looked at someone else’s donkey and thought, “I’d like to plow my field with that one.” But in the context of the Old Testament, these desires reflect the God-given role of work. People needed cattle and servants depending on what they were growing or their farm’s needs. These desires for work and resources reflect God because our desire to lead, manage, and accomplish goals mirrors His authority and creativity.
I want you to see that all these desires are not bad—they’re good. But they go awry when our admiration for God’s blessings becomes focused on something that hasn’t been given to us. It’s not wrong to admire the blessings of God upon your neighbor. In fact, God calls us to rejoice in our neighbor’s blessings. For example, admiring your friend’s marriage because it reflects God’s design for love and commitment is not wrong. Wishing you had your friend’s marriage because you resent your own and feel entitled to something similar is sinful. Do you see the difference?
Over the years, I’ve been involved in counseling men, and we’ve talked about this in men’s groups. It’s not wrong to recognize the beauty of another woman who is not your wife. It is wrong to have thoughts about her that are inappropriate. Coveting takes the good desires God has given us and twists them into misplaced longings. It becomes out of order and obsessive.
Coveting becomes sinful when it replaces gratitude with discontentment.
The problem arises when our desires move from being satisfied and grateful for what God has given us to a place of discontentment, where we feel we must have what God has not provided. Where does this discontentment come from? Let’s explore two areas. First….
Discontentment arises when we distrust God’s provision and plan.
God has provided everything we need and has a plan for the rest of our lives. That plan doesn’t look the same for everyone, and the level of provision He gives varies. While He has certainly met all our needs, what He has given each family or individual is unique.
When we become discontent with what God has given us, we start to believe we deserve more. “I deserve a better house. I deserve a better car. I deserve that person’s spouse—or a spouse more like theirs. I deserve this position.” This mindset convinces us that God hasn’t given us enough, and therein lies the issue.
Your very life is a gift from God. You are borrowing His air, and the blood flowing through your veins is His. Life itself is a gift. Who among us climbed into the womb and told God, “Create me because I’m awesome”? No one. God created us out of His grace, not because we were on His VIP list. You did nothing to earn this life. Everything you have is a blessing from Him, so to be discontent with it is sinful.
Paul addresses this in 1 Corinthians 4:7, reminding the church in Corinth—who were proud of their gifts but dysfunctional in many ways—”For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?” He echoes this in Romans 11:35: “Who has first given to God, that it might be paid back to him?”
My friends, your life is a gift from God. When we act as though we deserve more, we slip into entitlement. That word has stuck with me all week: entitlement. We live in a very entitled culture, don’t we? It’s easy to point fingers outside the church, saying, “Yes, that younger generation is so entitled.” But I urge us to look at our own hearts, because it’s not just out there.
Our sense of entitlement comes from our lack of humility. We think we are owed something better. But God does not owe us a participation award for breathing His air. He doesn’t owe me, you, or anyone anything. When we think we’re owed something, pride inflates our sense of self-importance, convincing us that we are owed blessings, success, or recognition. “My boss should see this in me,” we might say. But God is ultimately in control of everything, isn’t He?
This has been a challenging sermon to prepare because the more I study the Word, the more God convicts me of areas in my life I need to address. One parable that came to mind is in Matthew 20:1-16. An employer hires workers early in the morning to work in his field. Later, at noon, he hires a few more, then at 3 p.m., he brings in others. They all work until sundown. When it’s time to pay them, the master begins with those hired last. To their surprise, they receive a full day’s wage, even though they only worked a few hours.
The workers hired earlier see this generosity and think, “If they got that much, surely we’ll get more!” But when it’s their turn, they receive the same amount. They complain, saying, “These last men have worked only one hour, and you made them equal to us, who have borne the burden of the scorching heat of the day.” That’s not fair, they argue. The master replies, “I’m not robbing you. I paid you what I promised. Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? Or is your eye envious because I am generous?” This gets to the heart of covetousness—discontentment with where we are and a belief that we are owed something simply because someone else received a blessing.
The workers hired early felt entitled to more than those hired later, but the master rebuked them for resenting his generosity. This parable reveals how entitlement blinds us to God’s grace. When we believe we’re owed something, it keeps us from seeing and appreciating the grace God is already showing us in our lives.
Living your life in comparison to others will only magnify discontentment and breed envy.
It happens in marriages, friendships, and communities. Envy twists admiration into selfish longing, resenting others’ blessings rather than celebrating them. The writer of Proverbs 14:30 says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”
Envy consumes peace, poisons relationships, and corrodes spiritual health. You cannot love God with all your heart, soul, and mind—or love your neighbor as yourself—if you are envious of them. Discontentment with what God has given you destroys the foundation of gratitude and love.
Think of how many friendships have been ruined by competition, comparison, and envy. Love struggles to survive in relationships plagued by rivalry. Scripture is full of examples: Cain and Abel, the first children born to humanity. Cain envied Abel because God accepted Abel’s sacrifice but not his, and that envy led to the first murder. Joseph’s brothers envied the favor Joseph received from their father, and they sold him into slavery. King Saul envied David’s success and popularity, leading to paranoia, rage, and his eventual ruin. Envy is nothing more than covetousness—misplaced longings. It is longing for something good but refusing to be content with what God has already provided.
When we covet what God has withheld or forbidden, we behave as if we know better than Him.
We behave as if we could do a better job of managing the universe. This mindset is rooted in pride and distrust of God’s wisdom.
Consider the first story in the Bible. God creates Adam and Eve, and everything is perfect—no sin, no death, no dysfunction. It is paradise. God gives them one command: of all the trees in the garden, they may eat freely, except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He tells them that the day they eat of it, they will surely die. One rule. Can you imagine living life with just one rule? It seems simple enough, but it was deeply important. Eve is tempted by the serpent. She covets the fruit that God explicitly forbade, deceived into believing that God was withholding something essential to her happiness and fulfillment. She convinces herself, “This is what I need to be truly happy. I want to be as wise as God.” She begins to distrust God’s motives.
In Genesis 3:6, we read, “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.” Notice what comes before she eats the fruit: misplaced desire. Was it wrong for Eve to want to be wise? No, wisdom is good. But was it wrong for her to want to be as wise as God? Yes. Her desire went beyond the bounds God had set, and Adam, though not deceived, follows her lead. Here we are today, descendants of Adam and Eve, naturally gravitating toward wanting more than what God has blessed us with. It’s the same misplaced desire, born of distrust, that leads us to covet things outside God’s will.
When we allow our desires to dwell on what God has forbidden, they inevitably lead us into sin. At its root, the problem with sin is a problem with our desires. We may long for something good that God has provided, but we want it in a way or through an avenue that He has forbidden. James 1:14 says, “Each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.” The word “lust” here is interchangeable with the word “covet.”
We are enticed by our desires. It’s like going to a restaurant with many options but always being drawn to the same indulgent choice because it’s what we crave. Similarly, James explains that “when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” James warns us in verse 16: “Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.” Our desires are incredibly deceptive.
Think about it: isn’t it shocking some of the things we convince ourselves are good or right? People make decisions that others can clearly see are foolish. And yet, when we look at others, we think, “How could they want that? Don’t they know better?” For example, it’s obvious that injecting heroin is life-altering and destructive, yet some people still pursue it. The same principle applies to us when we want things we know God has forbidden.
Perhaps we think we can compromise our integrity at work to get ahead and not get caught. Or maybe we wish for success so badly that we’re willing to bend the truth. Longing for revenge or harboring a grudge, even though God calls us to forgive, is another example of our deceptive desires. We might convince ourselves that it’s okay to avoid forgiveness or to skip the hard work of reconciliation.
Yearning for relationships or engaging in practices that contradict God’s standards is also a form of discontentment and coveting. We believe that entering into a relationship or lifestyle outside God’s Word will somehow work out in the end. This reflects a dissatisfaction with God’s provision for our lives. Discontentment takes root when we are not satisfied with what God has given us or the plan He has for us. Coveting, at its heart, is not trusting that God’s way and timing are best.
Discontentment arises when we distrust God’s timing.
Discontentment often arises when we distrust God’s timing. Many times, the issue isn’t what God has planned to give us, but when He will give it. When we distrust His timing, we develop a mindset of entitlement: No, I want this now.
Doesn’t God often answer our prayers with the word wait? It’s not because He is withholding good things, but because He knows the best time and way to fulfill the needs in our lives. Yet our impatience fuels entitlement, and when we are unwilling to wait, our requests to God can turn into demands. It’s no longer a humble petition; it’s a demand that takes over our hearts. Entitled people are often demanding, unappreciative, and critical when others don’t meet their expectations. They think, I desire, therefore I demand, and when those demands aren’t met, they punish others with criticism or withdrawal.
James 4:2-4 sheds light on this. “You lust and do not have, so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask.” James explains that the source of every fight and quarrel is misplaced desires. “When we do ask God,” James adds in verse 3, “we don’t receive because we ask with the wrong motives—only seeking to satisfy our own pleasures.” Then he uses harsh language: “You adulteresses!” This reveals how God views covetousness and entitlement: as spiritual idolatry. It’s like cheating on God, choosing worldly desires over Him.
James goes on to say, “Do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” The same impatience we show toward God’s timing often spills over into our relationships with others. Many times, we think we are praying, but we aren’t truly praying with the right motives. Instead, we’re placing orders with God as if He’s our servant. Some of us need this newsflash: God is not your butler, and heaven is not DoorDash.
Our struggle with entitlement becomes glaringly obvious when we start making demands of God. This mindset reveals a heart that is not fully trusting His perfect timing or sovereignty.
Entitled people are often unwilling to endure hardship, delay gratification, or accept “no” as an answer.
Discontentment frequently fuels this sense of entitlement, which in turn often leads to debt. Discontentment reflects a lack of trust in God’s timing and provision, revealing a reliance on our own ability to control circumstances.
Consider the debt-to-income ratio. Research shows that as of the third quarter of 2024, California residents carried an average credit card debt of $9,191 per person. In a household of three, that would mean an average household credit card debt of nearly $30,000. This issue is not confined to the secular world—Christians face the same struggle. Why? Credit cards allow us to bypass the discomfort of saying “no” to ourselves, fostering a cycle of entitlement that undermines long-term financial stability.
Think about how your financial choices, especially during seasons like Christmas, reflect your willingness to submit to God’s direction for your resources. We often struggle to endure the hardships of saying “no” to ourselves, which ties back to our desires.
When entitlement is paired with laziness, covetousness thrives.
Laziness distorts our understanding of work and blessing. It feeds a false belief that we are entitled to comfort, ease, or automatic success. Proverbs has much to say about laziness. Proverbs 21:25 warns, “The desire of the sluggard puts him to death, for his hands refuse to work.” Desire without work isn’t just unproductive—it’s destructive. Laziness kills ambition, but it doesn’t kill entitlement. Instead, entitlement fuels dissatisfaction, and covetousness flourishes in the ruins. Laziness robs us of purpose and joy, creating a vacuum where envy and covetousness move in. These attitudes twist God’s blessings and leave us yearning for more, instead of trusting and being content with His provision.
The main issue in all of this is self-control. Do you have control over your desires? Do you take the desires of your heart to Christ? Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, as outlined in Galatians 5:22-23. If you’re a Christian, the Holy Spirit will produce self-control in your life progressively over time. As you walk with Christ, your life should become more disciplined.
Scripture repeatedly calls believers to exercise discipline in resisting temptation and pursuing godliness, which begins in the heart. Titus 2:11-12 says, “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously, and godly in the present age.”
Over the years, preachers often say, “We’re not supposed to look like the world.” But what does that mean? It’s not about superficial things like how we dress. A more meaningful way to consider this is how we manage our finances or where we invest our resources. We invest in the things we love. When our desires become misplaced or out of order, we end up investing in what controls our hearts. That’s why Jesus emphasizes money so much, saying, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Consider this: are you investing in the kingdom of God? Are you willing to endure hardship? You can’t truly be a Christian if your life is devoid of hardship. And by hardship, I don’t mean the common struggles everyone faces—I mean the unique challenges that come with following Christ. Being a Christian isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.
As I’ve reflected on this, I’ve come to realize just how central our desires are to everything we are. Your desires define your values. Think about your ambitions for success or relationships, or the discontentment that creeps in when your marriage doesn’t look the way you imagined. Or the dissatisfaction when family dynamics or holiday celebrations don’t meet your expectations.
Sometimes we try to “fix” these disappointments by spoiling others, like children, in ways that actually harm them—raising their expectations and leading us into debt. In doing so, we fail to honor God by being content. True contentment requires regular discipline in our lives.
So what do you do about your desires? What happens when you want something you know you shouldn’t? What’s the next step? These are the questions we must ask ourselves.
Covetous desires can change through the grace of God & renewal of the Holy Spirit.
You can change what you desire. The first step in this transformation is acknowledging the power of your past sins. To open the door to changing your desires, you must recognize not only the wrongness of sin but also its power. We all struggle with sin, though the particular sins that plague each of us may differ. Knowing yourself—where you can let your mind go and where you cannot—is an essential part of changing your desires.
Studying covetousness can feel like stoking a fire, bringing sinful tendencies to light that you might not have realized were there. Paul acknowledges this in Romans 7. He admits to struggling with doing what he should not and failing to do what he should. In verse 7, he reflects on the purpose of the law: “What shall we say then? Is the law sin? May it never be! On the contrary, I would not have come to know sin except through the law. For I would not have known about coveting if the law had not said, ‘You shall not covet.’”
Paul reveals that the law doesn’t merely prohibit external actions—it goes deeper, exposing the sinful desires within our hearts. It’s not enough to refrain from stealing; we shouldn’t even want to steal. It’s not enough to avoid lying; we shouldn’t want to lie. The law confronts our hearts, as it did Paul’s, with the command: “You shall not covet.”
Paul goes on to say in verse 8 that “sin, taking opportunity through the commandment, produced in him coveting of every kind.” In other words, studying the law amplified his awareness of sin. Why is it that forbidden things often become more desirable the moment they are prohibited? Paul explains that sin resides within us, exploiting the law to stir up greater struggle.
This confrontation with sin isn’t meant to shame us but to drive us to Christ. The law exposes our need for grace, forgiveness, and transformation. It’s not a condemnation of “you wicked, wicked sinner,” but an invitation to turn to Christ, who is our only hope. Only through Him can our desires truly change.
Intense desires reveal the ongoing war between the flesh and the Spirit.
If you are a Christian, then you have been born again. If you have not been born again, you are not a Christian, no matter how religious you may be or how much you know about Christianity. When someone becomes born again, surrendering their life to Christ, repenting, and believing in Jesus, the Holy Spirit enters their life and awakens their spirit, which was previously dead.
We are all born spiritually dead, which makes sinning come naturally. That part of us, the flesh, thrives in spiritual death. Until the Holy Spirit comes and reawakens our spirit to life, we cannot please God or truly change our hearts. Without this transformation, our hearts remain hard. You might be religious, adopt a moral code, or discipline yourself, but you won’t serve God out of love.
When the Holy Spirit makes you alive, a new battle begins. Before being born again, sin wasn’t a struggle—it was just about how to get away with doing what you wanted. But after being born again, the flesh remains, though it is dying. The Spirit brings new life, creating a real fight in your heart. This is why being a Christian is harder, but it is also worth it.
Ask yourself: is there a battle in your heart? Is there a war within you? Is the struggle about appearing religious, or is it that you genuinely want to serve God but find it hard? Loving God and not wanting to displease Him while battling sin is the essence of the Christian life. If there is no fight in you, it’s worth questioning whether you are truly a Christian.
The Bible teaches that the “old man” is dead, yet it tries to enslave us again. Your spirit must continually resist, saying, “No, that’s not who I am.” This fight will persist until the day you leave this mortal body. The Christian is a fighter. Paul says in Galatians 5:17, “The flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.”
If you are winning battles and sincerely want to serve the Lord out of love, the devil will try to deceive you. He might say, “You’re not a Christian, so why fight? Just give in.” But it’s your responsibility to resist and affirm your love for Jesus and your commitment to serve Him.
Paul says in Romans 8:13, “If you are living according to the flesh, you must die. But if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” This doesn’t mean you are made a Christian by fighting sin, just as a soldier doesn’t become part of the army by fighting. Soldiers fight because they are in the army. In the same way, Christians fight sin because they are Christians, not to become Christians.
If there is no fight in you, if you are not continually working to put to death the deeds of the flesh, it’s time to examine your heart. Ask yourself: have I truly believed the gospel? Have I truly surrendered to Christ? The fight against sin is evidence of the Spirit’s work within you and a hallmark of true faith.
Coveting is a heart issue that requires supernatural transformation.
Adopting a moral code or relying on discipline alone will never uproot the inward motivations of the heart. Discipline can only go so far; the underlying desires remain. We need something outside of ourselves to give us the power to put those sinful motivations to death. Christianity is a “bloody religion,” not only because of the cross of Jesus but also because of the daily dying to ourselves that it requires.
This is why you need to regularly preach the gospel to yourself—not just daily but every hour. Remind yourself of the truth: Jesus died for you. You were born a sinner, yet Jesus gave His life for you. You belong to Him, and you cannot do this alone. The more you meditate on what Christ has done for you, the easier the battle becomes—ironically, but beautifully.
The Christian life is both hard and easy. While much of what I’ve discussed has focused on the difficulty, Jesus also describes it as easy: “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” How can it be both? The initial step is the hard one—dying to yourself and putting your desires to death. Once you’ve taken that step and focused on Christ, your heart becomes reoriented toward Him. Over time, you find that your desire to please Him outweighs your desire to pursue things He doesn’t approve of.
Consider this: some of us may want to be unfaithful to our spouses, but we don’t act on it because we love our spouses more than that fleeting desire. Some of us may want to spend all our time building wealth, even at the expense of our families, but we don’t because we love our families and recognize the harm it would bring them. In the same way, as your heart grows in love for Christ, those sinful desires lose their power.
Friends, there is hope because Jesus died for you. Recognize how hopeless life is apart from Him. When Jesus died on the cross, He paid for every sin—past, present, and future. He said, “I will not let you go.” If you belong to Him, even if you wander, you will not find peace in sin. If someone claims to be a Christian but lives in sin without misery or conviction, John challenges us to ask whether they were ever truly born again.
The cross of Christ changes you. Don’t let the struggle or the fight against sin make you doubt your salvation. On the contrary, the very struggle can be a sign that you truly belong to Him.
Let me ask you: Is Christ enough for you? If everything in your life that brings happiness and joy were stripped away and you were left sitting in ashes like Job, could you still say, “Lord, You are more than enough for me. You give and take away, but I have everything I need in You”? If there’s something in your life that makes you hesitate—something you feel you couldn’t live without—perhaps that’s the area where the Lord is working in your heart. That may be what you covet. Let’s pray.
Heavenly Father, these are deep and challenging truths. If I were to look at this commandment without knowing that You died for me, I confess I wouldn’t even try. I wouldn’t even attempt to fight; I would simply become more enslaved to my desires and my flesh. Lord, apart from You, it feels hopeless. But Jesus, You died so that I might be free. I know that You are the Son of God, and I know that You paid for my sin.
Some of us here know this, but we repent today for not fighting as we should. We’ve eased up in our battle against our sinful nature and made concessions for desires You do not approve of. Lord, I know this offends the work You accomplished for me on the cross. I ask for Your forgiveness.
Help me to see You in all Your glory and to love what You’ve done for me so deeply that it won’t feel like a burden to set aside these forbidden desires. May I joyfully embrace whatever You bring into my life. In Your name, I pray. Amen.
